I'm sitting here like I usually do at the close of another school year, trying to figure out what exactly each moment in this place has added up to. A good experience, a bad one, neither? What have I really learned? Who have I become? Where am I going? All these questions and more are flooding my brain, and yet I don't have the answers to most of them. I'm too close to this place to really understand what it all means, and honestly, some things will always be a mystery no matter how hard I try to peel back the layers.
Its hard to try and figure out how these three years at SPU have changed me, and yet in one sense I see so many lessons learned, friendships built, dreams realized and others taken away. I've had moments of extreme sorrow and moments when JOY filled my heart against all odds. And in the background beauty has always been there. The beauty of people, hurts, deaths, peace, patience, and hope. The beauty of Christ healing my heart of so much pain, and seeing him dwell richly in others.
Honestly, I have a lot of friends who don't understand why I love spu when I was rejected twice from their nursing program, but each of those rejections was a needed circumstance, a good I didn't want, but wouldn't trade for the world. I have been shaped and fashioned by two things at SPU: relationships and rejections. I wouldn't give any of those experiences away, no matter how painful they were. I would not be who I am today or going where I am now if not for those people who have come alongside me, and for the circumstances that were beyond my control.
So as I sit here reflecting on the past three years, I feel more than prepared to go, to find a new place of growth and to live in the grace, peace, and joy that Christ so graciously provides.
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