Its time for me to finally know something about my future. I'm thrilled and terrified and so glad that I can live in blissful ignorance for another three days. I know I am different person than I was last year at this time, but I'm still afraid that everything I've learned, that who I've become will somehow change when I see whether or not I have a large envelope or a small one. I don't even have to open it if its small...I'll just know.
There's another part of me that doesn't care whether or not I stay at SPU next year;in some ways I feel ready to move on. THis year has been so good for me in so many ways, that to move on now would feel right, but to stay? What will happen if I stay?
So in three days I'll open up my envelope and a little bit of my future will unfold itself from the pages, and I'll finally know something. But what will it be? Whatever it is, it will be good.
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