Severe Mercy continued...

This is one of the countless poems about grieving and loss that Emily has written. Its one of my favorites of hers and gives words to my heart. I think one of the reasons I have loved this cultural grieving class is that I'm a rather emo person by nature. When I tried to recall my first loss it felt exactly as the first stanza of this poem describes. I've always felt this strange sadness, it wasn't depression, but was more a general sense of sorrow for myself and the people of our world. Of course i wouldn't have used those words, I didn't really know this was how I thought until recently, but its been there. I've always been searching for the Kingdom of God, as I would argue we all are in our own ways, and I find myself closest to it, to JOY, when I am sorrowing... its the upside down gospel! (thanks,bob). Like I said before, this idea infuses all of life with meaning and beauty for me. The kingdom of God has found me! Gah! I could talk about this for the rest of my life and probably will.



A loss of something ever felt I—
The first that I could recollect
Bereft I was—of what I knew not
Too young that any should suspect

A Mourner walked among the children
I notwithstanding went about
As one bemoaning a Dominion
Itself the only Prince cast out—

Elder, Today, a session wiser
And fainter, too, as Wiseness is—
I find myself still softly searching
For my Delinguent Palaces—

And a Suspicion, like a Finger
Touches my Forehead now and then
That I am looking oppositely
For the site of the Kingdom of Heaven—

Severe Mercy

I am currently taking a class on cultural grieving and at the same time happened to be reading a book called A Severe Mercy, which deals with an essentially christian way of grieving. I am finding out how natural and beautiful and even desirable (at least for me) grieving and loss experiences can be. I'm not sure the author of A Severe Mercy would say that he desired his wife's death from cancer. In fact, if you read the book, it was the last thing he wanted, but I do believe he would say it was necessary. The final chapters of his book deal with this concept: the idea that what hurts us most is and can be for our good. Hence, the title.

If there is any idea that compells me more, that motivatives me in my christian walk, it is this. The paradox of sorrow and joy. A mercy that is so severe that only Love Himself could give it. Somehow this idea makes all of life worth living.